User Profile

An Englishman who forgot to go home, who stubbornly refuses to adhere to many conventions, but not that one about which side of the road to drive on, who treasures his friends, is appalled by stupidity, particularly the willful sort, but is nonetheless patient, who is kind to strangers and puppies, has exhausted his supply of outrage during the past six years, likes the color Payne’s Gray, has jumped a freight train, would slay a dragon but only if negotiation failed, loved teaching skydiving but disliked having to set a good example, eats vegan but is not preachy or whiney about it, who stacks books haphazardly, has noticed that the members of the Beatles appear to have lifespans inversely proportional to their talent, who likes jeans, the ocean, Vinho Verde on a hot day, wit, but not its use to hurt, understanding others' points of view without necessarily sharing them, who appreciates being awake at 4 AM at the end or the beginning of a day, enjoys music, fresh bread, offending the complacent, but only tastefully, who runs with scissors, once stayed in a village whose two halves were joined by an elevator, has forgotten everything he learned at trapeze lessons, likes the music of both Joplins, leaves behind nothing but footprints, has leaped (off) tall buildings in a single bound, whose best laid plans gang oft a-gley, who changes his mind when a better idea comes along, can fly an airplane, but thinks that the FAA is justified in thinking otherwise, who thinks that, yes, in fact, those pants do make your butt look big, who does a lot while others torpidly debate, has sometimes gotten into trouble for that same reason, doesn't regret a moment of it, likes run-on sentences and self-referential humor, is an amateur pataphysics researcher and Discordian Pope, but eschews the honorific, who sees a world in a grain of sand, has survived numerous incidents in which his last words would have been "Watch this," takes himself neither too seriously nor too lightly, is amused often and easily, and doesn’t regard that as a bad thing, enjoys large excursions outside his comfort zone, doesn't take things personally, even when they're meant that way, is mildly astonished that you're still reading this, writes in the margins of books, thinks that artists borrow and great artists steal, once narrowly escaped an Amway salesman, and who occasionally takes pity upon moribund words.

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